Monday, April 8, 2013

Wonderful "One"derland

This was me in July of 2012.  Right before I started all of this process.  I topped off at 232 lbs.  I have always been heavy-ish, but having children gave me and extra 57 lbs to carry around.  I felt gross, I hated the way I looked in anything that wasn't a freaking tent, I never wanted to do my hair or make-up.  I pretty much let myself fall into that "Well, I'm a mom" slump that we sometimes get caught up in.  I was deeply unhappy about my appearance, and despite my husband's constant reassurance that he thought I was beautiful, I didn't see how he could stand to look at me, or even want to sleep with me.  This right here? It was killing our sex life (that and having a newborn around.) Sure my baby was only 3-4 months old around this time, but I was this heavy before he was born.  I had actually easily lost all the weight I had gained with Lu's pregnancy.  Magical breastfeeding!! But I was still carrying around all the weight from E's pregnancy, where I had gained a total of 75 lbs. On a body that was already overweight, that was just not good, not good at all! I struggled for the years after E was born trying new things, trying to exercise, getting into a good start and then, falling completely off the wagon.  The closest I had ever gotten was 214.

I still have a long way to go, but I feel so much better about how I look now, at 198, I am closer to my goal that I have ever been in my life.  I feel prettier, have more confidence, I rarely go out looking like frumpy 200lbs me, I take care of myself more.  My sex life is WAY better, I am wearing high heels again! I feel like crap when I eat like crap and also when I don't work out.  So I don't eat like crap (very seldom) and I try to squeeze in at least 20 mins of some kind of work out as often as life allows it.  I still have a pretty steep hill to climb to reach 160, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am doing this.  AND, if I can do this, so can you! I am telling you right now, I am not perfect, I ate like crap all week this week between Easter and birthdays and candy and cake everywhere, and I also ended up with a shin injury that rendered me pretty useless.  I am the most lazy person out there when it comes to working out.  I have a huge love/hate relationship with it,  I love the way I feel and look, but I hate working out.  I also love sugar, can't go a single day with out something sweet, BUT I AM STILL DOING THIS! And so can you!
I know 34 lbs is not some crazy number, I know people have done more in much less time, but I am doing it the right way, no crazy diets, just eating less.  And no extreme work outs, mostly just 40 mins of cardio, 3-4 days a week.  But the slower the better, because you will keep it off if you do it the right way! If you learn how to eat better, how to gradually find exercise that you enjoy, you will start seeing results too.  It does take an iron will some days! And some days you are going to fail in the most epic way possible, but the good news about that is that tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start.  Don't be so hard on yourself, it is a learning process, most things in life take time, you don't learn to read overnight, you can't learn to speak French in one class! These things are worth waiting for, and so worth working for! Start small, set small goals, reward yourself with something awesome like new work out gear or one special meal or treat, a book, a massage anything to keep you motivated.  Look in the mirror and love who you are now, but let her (or him) go.  Say goodbye and work your butt off to get to meet that new you! And I am here for you! Please, use my successes and failures.  Ask me anything!!! I am here for you!
Good luck, go get started!!

1 comment:

  1. I always think you look gorgeous, babycakes, but you look fanfuckingtastic! so proud of you!