Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I still got game, yo...

Most days it's a small miracle if I have my teeth brushed before noon, let alone be showered and made up. Today I at least had the teeth brushed, not that it mattered in this circumstance.

While walking home from my parent's house (who live literally right around the corner,) two gentlemen decided that I looked hot enough from behind to proceed to pull over and hit on me. "Hey baby, how you doin?"

There's no mistaking that I'm pregnant at this point in my life so my initial reaction was shock, followed by a "Really?!" Then a "I'm five and a half months pregnant, want this now?" Which prompted them to speed away. Because no matter how hot the piece of ass in question is, no one wants to play baby's daddy to a kid that isn't theirs, right? And I hate being judgemental, but these fine fellows appeared the part that wouldn't play baby's daddy to children they had created themselves in the first place, hence the speedy getaway, I'm figuring...

But at the end of the story, I'm not sure if I should be offended or complimented at this point. I'm still trying to wrap my head around what happened. In my pre-baby days, getting hit on at random places was something that happened often enough that it didn't really bother me, but walking home, while pregnant, in sweats and a thermal, with no make up on, and yesterday's crappy hair do in a sloppy pony tail? What is the world coming to?

Maybe it's nice to know that after being rode hard and put away wet by life, this girl still has game. Watch out fellas, pregnant is the new sexy!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Dear 2011

Dear 2011,
I'm really not all that upset we are parting ways in a few weeks. Let's be honest, I 'm pretty dang stoked to meet your replacement, 2012 as you have been, well, kind of a bitch to me and mine.

Our start was rocky and full of uncertainty, your predecessor was pretty good to us so I had high hopes for you, but pretty much right off the bat, we  just didn't hit it off.  But I believe in giving chances, and I decided to give you another, which turned into another and another and so on.

At one point in our journey together on this road to life I just couldn't believe the stunts you were pulling. I mean, you hit us below the belt quite a few times this summer. Not cool 2011, not cool at all. What did we do to you? Is this a personal thing? Did we have too good of a year in 2010 that you felt the need to knock us down a peg and pretty much reduce us to a heaping pile of rubble? I mean, I am all for karma and if we pissed someone off somewhere, somehow, then so be i,t but I tend to think we're pretty good folk so WTF?

Anyhow, let's not dwell on your persistent nastiness and bitter grudge against us. I choose to be the bigger person here and just tell you to go fuck yourself while I drink to your replacement and talk bad about you to 2009 and 2007.

(Oh who am I kidding here...)
Piss off,
K (on behalf of team West and team Drinkwine)