8 weeks: let's talk misery

I'm sure some of you are sick of my facebook posts about how much I suck at being pregnant, so I am going to *try* to keep all my pregnancy woe's reserved for the blogosphere.

I am the worst pregnant person out there. I hate feeling miserable, sick, tired, weepy, sick and bloated. Hate it. So much so that I have decided that this pregnancy will be my last, no matter the outcome. (So please keep your fingers crossed that all goes well so my son won't have to be an only child.)

I remember feeling sick and very tired with Ethan. My nausea was pretty bad at certain times of the day, mostly the afternoons, but this baby has re-defined the meaning of pregnancy nausea. It is not only reserved for the morning, but usually occurs all day long, worsening sometimes early in the morning (like 4 am) or worsening in the evenings (like 5 pm,when my husband leaves or work). There's really no relief at all either, I feel fluish all day, all week. It's fun! No, that's not even funny to joke about! There are hot and cold flashes and often body aches as well, so, most days I feel like I'm going to die.

The worst part thus far has to go to week 7, when I ended up at an impasse and in the er. I have never, ever been in more pain in my entire life.  I am sure the screaming I was doing in the bathroom was frightening all of the patrons. This didn't happen at all my first time round the block, so the experience was new, and frightening and horrifying all at once and I am currently taking a battery of products to, er, keep things moving. Imagine passing something the size of a large naval orange out of something the size of a quarter, with no drugs or assistance what-so-ever! I'll never be the same again. (shudders) The one and only good thing I got from this adventure was seeing my baby. Imagine my relief when the ultrasound tech turned the screen and showed my the little bean, heart pumping away, all tiny and strong deep in my tummy. I didn't need any pain medicine after that, the feeling I felt was so euphoric. Such a relief after the last time I sat in the same exact room, looking for our baby, to make sure there was still a baby in there only to find an empty uterus.

That being said, I may bitch and whine and complain everyday about how miserable I am right now, but rest assured that every second I feel crappy is a reassurance that everything is going well, baby is still fighting away, growing and living. Every time I feel horrible it is a sign that someone else is doing well. It's my baby telling me, hey, mom, I'm still here, growing bigger every day. And that even though this little one is so grounded the second she (or he) comes out, we will be relieved that our long battle with infertility, nausea, and all the other crap that comes with this is finally over and our family will be complete.