Thursday, August 18, 2011

I'm happy, right?

It's hard to get excited when the last time you found out you were pregnant the whole thing went up in smoke. It shouldn't be, I mean, I should be happy, excited, elated, relieved, but there's a part of me that can't get too attached. At least not yet.
My doctor has told me that it is pretty uncommon for you to have two back to back miscarriages, but it still weighs heavily on your mind.
It is very early still.  Just shy of 5 weeks, which is coincidentally the same time I started the process of losing the last baby, so imagine if you will, how frightened I feel. My symptoms so far are pretty mild, I am mostly moody, a teensy bit nauseated like, every other day, and a little tired every now and then. Much different from the last time where I was feeling sick and very tired right away, so this must be good right? Well, I hope at least!
Overall, I guess I really, really want to believe that everything is going to be fine. I'll feel better after we make it to 7 weeks, but the feeling will never go away. I could still miscarry at 9, 13, or 20 weeks. Or worse.
Keep your fingers crossed, and send out a big "Stay put baby!" for me will ya?

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