Friday, October 22, 2010

If I could

What would I say if I had one more afternoon with you?

I'd tell you how much I love you.

Tell you that you were such an amazing example of love and kindness. I mean 65 years of marriage? Who does that anymore? And we both know Grandma isn't particularly easy to live with! That you have set the standard for marriage in my book.  Everytime we would take either you or Grandma to the doctor or somewhere where only one of you would be going, you'd give each other a kiss goodbye. I loved that.

I'd make sure Ethan got to spend as much time with his great-Grandpa, so that he would be forever burned in his memory. You and your legacy living on in my family.  That our next child, if it's a boy will carry his great-Grandpa's name, proudly.  Because you are so dear to me.  So loved. 

I'd talk to you about all the random things we used to talk about. 

I'd remember your scent, peppermint, because you always carried them in your pocket. I'd breath it so deeply as I gave you the biggest hug.

I'd tell you again how very much it meant to me to be able to dance with you at my wedding.  I'd tell you the same thing I told you that night. "You know how much I love you right?" with tears streaming down my face, just as they were then, and just as they are now.

I'd want to know more about your 90 years on this earth.  What changes you saw, what things you miss and what new things you love.

Do you ever hear me when I talk to you, I'd ask.  Do you ever visit us? Grandma?

I'm not sure if it was a blessing having you in my life for so long.  Because it was so hard to let you go. It's been over a year and it still hurts.  But it would be one of the best afternoon's I could possibly ever spend, being with you just once more. 

This post is part of The Red Writing Hood prompt "Spending an afternoon with someone who is no longer living."



  1. the post was beautiful...the picture at the end? tears. this reminded me of the other person i didn't choose to blog father-in-law. I have the same pic as you do at my wedding with him. exactly two months before his funeral.

    hugs to you.

  2. Another beautiful tribute to a loved one. I loved the addition of the pictures.

  3. One of my most cherished memories of my wedding was dancing with my then-90 year-old grandfather. He died when I was pregnant with my eldest and his middle name is after him. I still miss him a lot. Your picture with him is priceless.

  4. Lovely. I found you through the Red Writing Hood site and read a few of your posts. Good stuff...I went through that trying to get pregnant with my second child thing last year and like you was frustrated because it didn't come as easily then. I have a five month old now. Hang in there!

  5. I now have tears in my eyes.
    this was beautiful.

  6. Really lovely. Your affection for him is quite evident.

    I shared ONE meal with my grandfather as an "adult" before he died. It is my most cherished memory of him.