Monday, October 18, 2010

Crazy (wonky) fatchick rantings

I'm not sure how I'm feeling today.  Pretty certian I'm going through some PMS, which if you have been following me at all means we failed at baby making.  So naturally I cried my eyes out in the shower today.  (Um, Aunt Flo isn't due for about a week, so welcome back obsessive lady!) Then I ended up getting so sick to my stomach I felt that naturally, I was indeed pregnant.  So I took my last pregnancy test. Negative, of course, since they aren't that sensitive. Stupid girl.  Early detection is five days before your missed period, not eight days.  Well, to my defense, I was never good at math. Nor do I have great patience.  So I may have chalked up the nausea to my vitamin, which I had taken about four hours earlier.  And the new zit that I have acquired? PMS OR due to the fact that last night I was too lazy to wash my face before bed? You tell me.

I don't know.  So I then proceeded to eat almost an entire pizza (during the course of the day kids, don't get crazy with the judging and staging of interventions just yet.) Preliminary cravings or just me being fat and PMS-y? Fuck! This whole thing has been waaaay too difficult.  I am torn here today with my wonky, effed up, emo ball of hormones, pregnancy or period induced. On one hand, I would be pretty devastated if despite all my efforts, calculations and money spent on massive efforts to get knocked up, have indeed failed. But like, really? It's been ONE month? STFU and try again next month with out the fucking dog and pony show! Which is what the hubby has pretty much been telling me.  But if I am pregnant and this is just a part of all that jazz going on in the good ol' uterus? Bra-fucking-vo! There will be no living with me after.

Yes, I am certifiably crazy. More on that later.  And on whether or not I am with child.

Yea for my first Word Up, Yo post!!!

1 comment:

  1. I love you. but you need to get off the crazy train.

    first, be kind to yourself, woman! eat some chocolate. watch a chick flick. and have a good cry.

    then, get off the crazy train. you were so lucky to get preggo so fast the first time. nobody gets knocked up that fast except teenagers. it's only been one month, give it time. if you're all crazy and stressy, you're not making a conducive environment for baby making. no fetus wants to implant in the crazy lady! so chill out, woman! it's for your own good. it's for baby #2's good.

    love you so hard. call me anytime. I may just come visit you if I can swing it.