While I was taking my time (four years) to get my associates degree I danced through college. (Which was probably the main reason it took my four years was because half of my credits were dance classes.) There was one semester I was taking 12 hours of classes 4 days a week. But I loved it dearly. There hasn't been anything before or since that I have truly loved doing more. Maybe horizontal dancing....maybe...
Most people would probably wonder why I did not aspire to make dancing a part of my career. There are many reasons for that. Sure, I was talented enough to make it in some form or another as a professional (not stripping kiddos!) but I wasn't ever motivated enough. I mean, lets be practical, as I was (am). Dancer's have pretty short lived careers as far as "performing" is concerned. Injuries can end a dancers carrer in an instant, and I alrady had bad knees and ankles. The semester before I stopped dancing, I pulled my hamstring, badly, and have since not fully recovered.
Dancers have to fit a certian "body type." I have always been thick, short and sturdy, not the tall, lithe, and graceful type that embodies most of the greats that I have come to know and love. I may get thinner, but I'd never grow the extra five inches I needed to be a professional ballerina. Thanks mom and dad. And lastly, it takes a lot of No's to finally get a yes. I'm not one to deal well with rejection. I mean, from the girl who once wanted to drop everything and move to New York to pursue a career in Theater at 18, I had acquired enough knowledge in my advanced age (for a dancer) that I must be practical and find a career that would have more longevity.
Thus dancing became just a passion. I still decided once I enrolled at UNLV to become a dance minor, maybe I would be able to teach one day. (I have strong philosophies on what qualifies one to be able to teach dance, professional experience is one, education second.) Which would still enable me to live apart of my dream while making some sort of a living, which would have been teaching art. But I soon decided against finishing my education at UNLV and quit dancing all together. I was 25, newly engaged, and other wise, pretty well pre-occupied with being in love (and lust) that I dropped everything and quit school and dance.
Do I regret that? Well, not really. I mean I do want my B.A. eventually. It's not until I watch a show like "So You Think You Can Dance" or movies like "Flashdance" or "Staying Alive" or hear music that makes me want to jump off my chair and do tour-jete's around the room that I deeply miss my passion. But my life as wife and mommy has become my new food. Writing has replaced my need for an artistic outlet. Dreaming of dancing, going to shows, and watching old dance videos have silenced the need for me to perform. And I'm still waiting on my dream career as a stay at home mom/ angsty blog & book writer to come to be.
I love this post. I too don't fit the "dancer's body", but I love it with all my heart. Whenever a see a dancing movie or an old song that I did a routine to comes on the radio, I get so nostalgic. I miss it more than anything.
ReplyDeleteYou know what, keep trying for your dreams. Just do. Whether they're fully reached or not, you can't lose for trying.
ReplyDeleteIt's doing something, something...which is better than just wishing.
I loved your post.
i hear ya!! i LOVED dancing!! but i too am short, not lean and graceful and would make the balllet look like the circus... yuk.
ReplyDelete